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Artistic In English

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Here you can write all you artistic works. Verses, short stories and any artistic descriptions of events you heard, saw or were really partaker youself.

But remember! It must be artistic....

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And it will be obligatory to write about events in which I participated? I, for example, know many good and entertaining histories, but, unfortunately, did not accept in them participation personally...

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There're a lot of funny and interesting events you can discribe artisticaly(& not vicious). You only try. It helps to learn to depict one's thoughts. I think you will find it very usefull. Just try :laugh:

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The Huge mystery…

 

Once upon a time one ordinary little girl found something deep in herself. Nobody have even known, what was it, but

It was too exiting for so underaged creature, that she had died.

THE END.

:smil442c07f4a65e0:

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Now I write songs in English for my future group.

Wnen they will be finish I put them here. :17:

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Not mine, but a funny thing

 

Marge: Homie, are you really going to ignore Grampa for the rest of

your life?

 

Homer: Of course not, Marge, just for the rest of his life.

 

Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy (taken from Andras Niedermayer's homepage)

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Now I write songs in English for my future group.

Wnen they will be finish I put them here. :17:

not when but if ;)

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Fuck you, game over, level up!

That's all folks!

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I cry, my friend, I cry

My pain takes all my mind

You'll never be with me, I know

It's very badly, I'm sorry.

 

***

 

You took my love and took my care

And you were there, I had never

But can you help me? I love you

This story's simple and it's true.

 

And what was I to you, my dear?

I didn't love, when you stood near,

But now I think that it was fear,

And in my face's drying tear.

 

I never lied you, you, my dear

I heard your vocal ,it is real,

You heard my playing the guitar,

But now you're singing too far.

 

Too far from me and I stay home

My universe became a bore

I want to see you every day

And you don't me. it's not okay.

 

'I never loved you' was your answer

It's like a knife to heart, get out faster

Your choice'd been made. You know it.

I cry to pillow a little bit.

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accidentally found this topic... here is my favorite brainblowing poem for desperate people, who know that English is really beautiful... and complex. My opinion, it was written specially for stupid guys like myself, just to let us know that we'll never speak good English...

 

Dearest creature in creation

Studying English pronunciation,

I will teach you in my verse

Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse

I will keep you, Susy, busy,

Make your head with heat grow dizzy.

Tear in eye your dress you'll tear,

So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,

Pray, console your loving poet,

Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!

Just compare heart, beard and heard,

Dies and diet, lord and word,

Sword and sward, retain and Britain.

(Mind the latter, how it's written).

Made has not the sound of bade,

Say said, pay-paid, laid, but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you

With such words as vague and ague,

But be careful how you speak,

Say break, steak, but bleak and streak.

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via,

Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,

Cloven, oven, how and low,

Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery:

Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,

Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles.

Exiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing.

Thames, examining, combining

Scholar, vicar, and cigar,

Solar, mica, war, and far.

From "desire": desirable--admirable from "admire."

Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier.

Chatham, brougham, renown, but known.

Knowledge, done, but gone and tone,

One, anemone. Balmoral.

Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel,

Gertrude, German, wind, and mind.

Scene, Melpomene, mankind,

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,

Reading, reading, heathen, heather.

This phonetic labyrinth

Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Billet does not end like ballet;

Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet;

Blood and flood are not like food,

Nor is mould like should and would.

Banquet is not nearly parquet,

Which is said to rime with "darky."

Viscous, Viscount, load, and broad.

Toward, to forward, to reward.

And your pronunciation's O.K.,

When you say correctly: croquet.

Rounded, wounded, grieve, and sieve,

Friend and fiend, alive, and live,

Liberty, library, heave, and heaven,

Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven,

We say hallowed, but allowed,

People, leopard, towed, but vowed.

Mark the difference, moreover,

Between mover, plover, Dover,

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,

Chalice, but police, and lice.

Camel, constable, unstable,

Principle, disciple, label,

Petal, penal, and canal,

Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal.

Suit, suite, ruin, circuit, conduit,

Rime with "shirk it" and "beyond it."

But it is not hard to tell,

Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall.

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron,

Timber, climber, bullion, lion,

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, and chair,

Senator, spectator, mayor,

Ivy, privy, famous, clamour

And enamour rime with hammer.

Pussy, hussy, and possess,

Desert, but dessert, address.

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants.

Hoist, in lieu of flags, left pennants.

River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,

Doll and roll and some and home.

Stranger does not rime with anger.

Neither does devour with clangour.

Soul, but foul and gaunt but aunt.

Font, front, won't, want, grand, and grant.

Shoes, goes, does. Now first say: finger.

And then: singer, ginger, linger,

Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, and gauge,

Marriage, foliage, mirage, age.

Query does not rime with very,

Nor does fury sound like bury.

Dost, lost, post; and doth, cloth, loth;

Job, Job; blossom, bosom, oath.

Though the difference seems little,

We say actual, but victual.

Seat, sweat; chaste, caste.; Leigh, eight, height;

Put, nut; granite, and unite.

Reefer does not rime with deafer,

Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.

Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,

Hint, pint, Senate, but sedate.

Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,

Science, conscience, scientific,

Tour, but our and succour, four,

Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Sea, idea, guinea, area,

Psalm, Maria, but malaria,

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,

Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,

Dandelion with battalion.

Sally with ally, yea, ye,

Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay.

Say aver, but ever, fever.

Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.

Never guess--it is not safe:

We say calves, valves, half, but Ralph.

Heron, granary, canary,

Crevice and device, and eyrie,

Face but preface, but efface,

Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Large, but target, gin, give, verging,

Ought, out, joust, and scour, but scourging,

Ear but earn, and wear and bear

Do not rime with here, but ere.

Seven is right, but so is even,

Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,

Monkey, donkey, clerk, and jerk,

Asp, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation--think of psyche--!

Is a paling, stout and spikey,

Won't it make you lose your wits,

Writing "groats" and saying "grits"?

It's a dark abyss or tunnel,

Strewn with stones, like rowlock, gunwale,

Islington and Isle of Wight,

Housewife, verdict, and indict!

Don't you think so, reader, rather,

Saying lather, bather, father?

Finally: which rimes with "enough"

Though, through, plough, cough, hough, or tough?

Hiccough has the sound of "cup."

My advice is--give it up!

 

P.S. My respect and sincerest compassion for those, who've read at least half of this. As far as I can remember, this poem was created by some linguist from NETHERLANDS at the beginning of XX century. Only ~30% of Englishmen are able to read it properly.

Изменено пользователем Tatzelwurm

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